Every single day I am grateful for the Temple. For the unbelievable blessings that I have felt come pouring into my life because of it. I have never felt so intimately connected with Heavenly Father on a daily basis. It has given me a more gratueful and contemplative existence, especially about the world and all of God's creations. I am grateful for my "little daily reminders"- that each day I get up, get dressed, and promise again to strive to do my best and align my will with Gods. I am grateful that amid the chaos and stress of life there is a place to go to quiet all the noise. I am grateful for a Father in Heaven and for His Holy House.
I'm moving soon. And it will be the first time that surfing isn't super easily accessible. There are still waves on the east coast but The Beach Boys didn't write any songs about the killer swell in Atlantic City. I should talk more positively. I hear the outer banks are real fun. But sometimes I get this fear really deep down that in moving I am losing and abandoning a huge part of me. That I wont be a surfer anymore . That it will be something I used to do. I know thats not true. I know that at this point surfing is part of who I am, and woven so deep you couldn't untangle it if you tried. I know that. But that fear is still so real. Growing up and fun/maximum surf time not being my primary priority anymore is necessary and appropriate at this point in my life, but it doesn't mean that I don't have the occasional nightmare of my boards all in a graveyard and me at a desk. Its one of things about growing up where life is pushing you forward with full force and racing all around you and you want desperately just to hit pause.
Well here we go
One of my goals this year is to reconcile my good intentions and the lack of follow through that sometimes keep these bright ideas of mine from becoming actualized. The fact that I added the "Blog" tab to my website 4 months ago and here we are finally just now drafting an initial post is some pretty conclusive evidence that I could be a little better when it comes to actually executing on the bonus features of my generally insurmountable color coded cross referenced TO DO LIST. You know the bonus features are the things you really sincerely want to do but guess what... life happens...and they fall off the radar. You come home from a long day of work and the good intentions list isn't quite as inviting as turning on some music and falling face first onto your bed where you will not move from that face planted position for 1-3 hours.
But I'm grateful. Grateful for a lot of things... and real gratitude should compel action. So on that good intentions list (under the personal development sub-section) is to actually put down some thoughts-from the fantastically inconsequential to the deeper sole baring type of stuff that it takes a certain willing vulnerability to be to share (working on that!) I want to be open and to try and break down some of the hardness and walls I've learned to build in the past years. I will absolutely tell some stories, and to share a lot more photos too if anyone happens to be interested.
Can I just say though-blogging feels narcissistic, like "HELLO World Wide Web I know you are just dying to hear what I have to say!!" I don't want to be that. I just also believe sharing perspectives is what makes this beautiful giant world so incredible. We are all absolutely uniquely different but we are all human. We all feel insecure, stressed out, hopeful, scared, stoked, confused (and if you're in your twenties you're probably feeling all of those at the same time). I'm just saying, hopefully someone will find something I put out there relatable or interesting. I'll take the fact that you are still reading this ramble (if anyone still is?) as evidence that one of you maybe possibly are catching my drift and wont mind reading my reflections and looking at pictures of my outfits, my dog, and lots and lots of pretty places and faces.
xoxo
